Mr. Barnes & Mr. Bigglesworth

[6.17.09] From: Harry Barnes
Date: June 17, 2009 7:04:30 AM CDT
Subject: PERSONAL
Reply-To: harrymanbarnes@yahoo.com.hk

Dear Friend,

With a very desperate need for assistance,I have summed up courage to contact you.I am presently in Iraq with the USA marine platoon;I found your contact particulars in an Address journal.I am seeking your assistance to evacuate the sum of $12.7m USD (Twelve Million Seven hundred Thousand United States Dollars)to you,as far as I can be assured that it will be safe in your care until I complete my service here.
This is no stolen money,and there are no dangers involved.

SOURCE OF MONEY:
Some money in various currencies was discovered concealed in barrels with piles of weapons and ammunition at a location near one of Saddam's old palaces during a rescue operation,and it was agreed by all party present that the money be shared amongst us,this was quite an illegal thing to do, but I tell you what? No compensation can make up for the risks we have taken with our lives in this hell hole.

The above figure was given to me as my share,and to conceal this kind of money became a problem for me,so with the help of a German contact working here,and his office enjoys some immunity,I was able to get the package out to a safe location entirely out of trouble spot.He does not know the real contents of the package,and believes that it belongs to an Asian American who died in an air raid,and before giving up,trusted me to hand over the package to his family.There is a secured way of getting the package out to a safer country for you to pick up,and i will discuss this with you when I am sure that you are willing to assist me.

One passionate appeal I will make to you is not to discuss this matter with a third party,should you have reasons to reject this offer.please destroy this mail as any leakage of this information will be too bad for us.

I do not know for how long we will remain here but hopefully before the year runs out,I have survived 2 suicide bomb attacks by the special grace of God,this and other reasons I will mention later has prompted me to reach out for help.

Please you can reach me on my personal e-mail address below for more information s.

Email: harrymanbarnes@yahoo.com.hk

Respectfully,

Harry Barnes.

*****
[6.26.09] My dear Mr. Barnes,

I applaud your discretion; it was a good choice to hijack the money you found and hand it over to a clueless German who--poor schmuck--believes it to be from a slain Asian-American hero. Well done!

In my excitement I confess I did leak this information to my cockatoo, Mr. Bigglesworth. You don't mind, do you? He understands the sensitivity of this information; we had a serious conversation about it, and be assured, Mr. Bigglesworth isn't talking.

Well, let's get down to business. I am eager to help you, especially given the hell hole you are in. One question, though. When you say you "survived 2 suicide bomb attacks by the special grace of God", do you mean that, by God's grace, you survived 2 suicide bomb attacks? Or do you mean that the bomb attacks were initiated by the grace of God? If the latter, this is most alarming. I hope God is not out to get you.

Looking forward to working with you.

Ms. Kitty

*****

[6.26.09] Dear Kitty,

Thank you for responding and your willingness to help me, I will sure explain the details and your prospective role, before I proceed, I will require some assurances from you that you will not use any information that I will share with you against me in anyway, and also assure me that you will preserve my share in your care and release same to me without any problems when I complete my mission here.

I will also like to know how much of you will like to keep as your share for your prospective role in this. As soon as I have a mail fro m you addressing the above issues, I will proceed with the details.

You may be wondering why I choose to trust a delicate matter like this in the care of a stranger, but this is the best I can do in my present situation.I would have trusted this kind of project in the hands of my wife who was my closest confidant, but I lost her to cancer on 22ND April 2006, 7 months after we were married, and my only brother has ruined his life with hard drugs, hence my decision to work with a neutral person if we can establish some trust between ourselves instead of confiding in my buddies back homes so that this little secret can be preserved.

I will await your response to proceed...

Respectfully,
Capt. Harry Barnes

*****

[6.29.09] Harry,

Thanks for writing back.

I read what you said about your decision to interact with a neutral person and I understand. There are several things that will establish trust between us.

1. CODE NAMES. Please use the code name "Captain Crunch"; that way I know I am speaking to you and no one else. I will be known as "Miss Kitty."

2. PASS PHRASE. At the beginning of every email you must ask me this question: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" And I will know that I am speaking with you. I shall explain why the chicken did what she did, and you will know that it is me.

If you want to send a photo of yourself or the money that would help as well. Rest assured no one knows about our conversations nor our plan except Mr. Bigglesworth, my trustworthy cockatoo. I'm sure you don't mind.

As to how much of the money I keep, that is up to you. Does 25% sound fair?

Miss Kitty

*****

[6.29.09]Dear Kitty,

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Thank you for at least giving me an opportunity to explain myself, please do not hesitate to ask for clarification whenever there is need as I proceed, I want to assure you that there a very secure way of getting the packages (money) out of here, I will sure explain the details and your prospective role.

Due to time constraints, I will go ahead to tell you how the funds will be evacuated from here.:

DETAILS:
The UN shuttle plane departs Baghdad international airport once in a week to 2 European countries,(Madrid, Spain and London, UK) the passengers and all the luggage's on such flights enjoy absolute immunity from the normal checks at these 2 ports, I have made very solid and confirmed arrangements to move the packages via one of such flights after we have discussed properly, explored all details and agree in principle to proceed, I will be assisted to carry out this task by a female contact, who is working with the protocol unit of the UN operations here in Iraq,and is quite close to me, even though she does not, and must not know that the packages contains money for personal reasons, The packages on arrival in Europe will be moved to th e UN liaison office in London or Spain depending on our choice.

Your Role:
To Take Over the Project as soon as the packages arrive Europe. if you choose the above option, you will have to travel to London or Spain, to take delivery of the packages, and I will explain to you how you will be guided or assisted to have the packages released to you.

2ND OPTION:
THERE IS A SECOND OPTION THAT YOU DO NOT HAVE TRAVEL, THIS OPTION WILL REQUIRE CONTRACTING THE SERVICES OF A DELIVERY AGENCY, WHO ARE ALSO CONSULTANTS TO UN OPERATIONS IN EUROPE, TO HAVE THE PACKAGES DELIVERED TO YOU IN ANY PART OF THE WORLD, I WILL WRITE MORE ON THIS IF YOU ARE NOT SATISFIED WITH THE FIRST OPTION THAT REQUIRES TRAVELING. THE SAME AGENCY HAD CARRIED OUT A SIMILAR TASK FOR 2 OF MY COLLEAGUES WHO HAD A SHARE IN THIS, ONE WAS DELIVERED IN YEMEN, WHILE THE OTHER WAS DELIVERED IN SULPHUR SPRINGS, TEXAS.

As it is now, I do not have a choice than to accept the percentage that will please you so that we can all have a free mind. I have agreed that you take 30%, and we set aside 10% for expenses, while I have 60%. but you must make sure that my own share is intact in your care as agreed. I may have need for most of my share to be disbursed into some investment, but we have to agree between both of us, the type of investment that will be. We will discuss that later.So you have 30% of the proceeds.

This is not the type of project you drag for too long, and I am under pressure to get the packages out of here, I do not have so much time on my hands, I want you to be more committed to this, I will like you to take this more serious if you want to help, then we can proceed. let me also be sure that you sincerely want to work with me.

I will like you to examine both options, and get back to me with your comments and position, then I will proceed with comparing both options.

Respectfully,
"Captain Crunch"

*****

[7.8.09] Cap'n Crunch,

The chicken crossed the road to escape the wrath of Colonel Sanders.

After careful consideration, I choose to travel as you offered in Option 1. London sounds like the best option, in fact I've already been invited to play cricket with the Queen. Will you be joining us for tea?

Like you, I do not wish to drag this project out too long. 30% for myself is quite agreeable, and I thank you for your generosity. I have to warn you, though, Mr. Bigglesworth is asking for his share--are you willing to pay him 5%? Either that or he requests a lifetime supply of crackers; he is coming with me to London so please do not try to cheat him out of his cut.

Please include a photograph of yourself so that I know I am dealing with a genuine person. I would like you to be doing something unique in the photo, like making a funny face or a thumbs up sign. That way I know it is not a fake person. Please do not be offended by my skepticism, but you do realize that we are handling a large sum of money and trust is utmost important.

Yours,
Ms. Kitty

Good day, my dear!

[6.3.09]Good day my dear,

how are you today and how is your family, hope every body is fine? If so thanks to God Almighty.
My dear, I know that this mail might come as a surprise to you but all the same, I want you to read it and please give adequate attention to it immediately and hacking to the voice of a dieing widow. May I introduce my humble self to you; I am Mrs. Susan Smith from London United Kingdom the wife of late Mr. Clement Smith who happened to be the chairman of Texaco Oil Company in UK from 2001 till 2005 when he died of an auto accident. It all happened on the 13th day of June 2005 when my late husband was traveling for a board meeting scheduled with his board of directors in Wales here in UK when he had a fatal accident on his way to the meeting.

Four days before he died on the 17th day of August 2005 after spending closely two months in the Hospital, he called me on his seek bed and narrated to me that he deposited the total sum of 15million pounds in an Escrow account in a Bank named CITI BANK LONDON.

He also told me where he kept the files, which contains all the vital information he used in depositing the money in the Escrow account of the said Bank CITI BANK LONDON.
After my late husband's funeral rights, I felt sick a month later and was rushed to the hospital, the doctor told me that I have the Cancer of the lungs and made it known to me that the Cancer has eating up so much in my lungs and from there I started receiving treatments immediately.

I was at the hospital all these while and when I was discharged from the hospital, I came back home 2 weeks ago only to find out that my late husband's elder brother has taking position of everything my husband left as a legacy to me and my only son.

Right now my dear, I am left with nothing except the deposited money in CITI BANK LONDON and Before my husband died, he advised me on how I should transfer this money to any account of my choice when ever I am ready for that, he told me to contact an old friend of him who happened to be a retired World Bank Officer to help me in executing this project but the matter turned worse when I heard that the man who is supposed to help me died in November 2008 when I was still at the hospital.

Please my dear, all I need from you now is to kindly help me in securing this money from the Bank in my orders as I cannot do It my self because of my health situation and to make sure that my late husband's elder brother who has turn out to be a thorn in my flesh will not know anything about it because that money is the only legacy left to my reach since the death of my late husband.

It is vital that we have to hire an attorney who will help us in sending an application letter to the Bank for the release of the money to you as the next of kin to my family in my orders as I will draft an authorization letter on that since I am Undergoing a critical situation for my days has been numbered because from my last medical checkups some days back, my doctor made it known to me that I have less than one months to live on the planet earth and that has been my main reasons of contacting you at the first place.

Please you have to come to the aid of a dieing Widow by helping me in securing the money out of the Bank to your Private Bank account in your country after which you will help me in investing some part of the money with the name Of my only son (JOHN) in your country to enable him purchase a good living in your country even if I no longer exist.

Please you have to help me in this for I will be very glad even in my grave if this should be the only thing I could achieve for my only son (JOHN) before I die for I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going to, I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 vs14 says that "the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace.

I will be waiting for your swift kind response today.
Thanks and may God bless you and your family Amen.
Mrs. Susan Smith

*****

[6.8.09] My dear Mrs. Smith,

My apologies to your sad plight, but thank you for choosing me to benefit from your misery. I hasten to hear your hacking voice. Is it more of a "hack-hack", or "hack-hack-sputter-hack"? Do you wake up with phlegm?

I will be glad to help you; I understand you cannot do it yourself and need help from your brother-in-law, who is evil scum. Tell me what you need me to do.

According to my calculations and your doctor's diagnosis, you shall die precisely on June 3rd. This does not give us much time, and I hope that your condition will not impede your progress in getting back to me.

I await your response, but know that I refuse to do business with anyone but dying widows; you will do, I suppose. I need proof that you are actually dying--it would make such a mess of things if you were to suddenly feel better.

Have a great day!

Ms. Kitty

*****

[6.9.09] My dear good friend in the Lord Kitty,

Thank you so much for your swift response to my previous message, you really gave me more hope to life by asking me how you can help me, may the good Lord bless you and your family in Jesus name Amen.

What I need from you now is just to help me In securing the money from the present location here in CITI BANK LONDON to your personal account in your country by standing as my family next of Kin after which when the funds has been successfully transferred into your account, you will also help me in investing part of the funds on a lucrative investment plans with the name of my only so to enable him have a good life in the future even if I die today.

You will be my sons guide and mentor and also the overseer of the investment until he is of age to manage the investment by him self. my son is just 12 years of age and deserves a good life for his father labored so much to make sure that he got that, I thought I will be there for him to give him exactly that but my health problem just proved me wrong as my doctors has made me to understand that I have less than a month top live again so that is why I have come to you to keep my dreams and plans going.

About what you stand to get in all this, I wish to let you know that I have decided wholeheartedly to give you 30% of the total money as your personal share while the remaining 70% will be invested with the name of my only son.

The investments you will be managing by your self until my son is of age to manage it by him self, this is all I need from you so Please if after reading the content of this mail and you find it pleased to your heart to be of a total help and assistance to me as I told you both in my previous mail and in the content of this mail, kindly get back to me at once that we may make arrangements on how to hire a Lawyer who will be representing your interest in this transaction so that all our steps will be done in a legal manner, the Lawyer will also prepare a written agreement on the ratio of the funds sharing as I told you in this mail which is 30% for you and 70% for my only son.

The attached file is a scan copy of my International passport for my identification.

Remember that this transaction is known just between you and me and it is highly confidential and should be treated as one, hope to hear from you at once with the whole explanation of your self that we may proceed by hiring the Attorney, may the good Lord in his infinite mercy bless you and your family for me as I will be waiting for your swift response with the whole explanation of your self.

Mrs. Susan Smith



*****

[6.11.09] Mrs. Smith,

I received your letter and passport; I will happily help you and your son. Unfortunately that is a horrid photo of you. You must promise me to have a new one made immediately--possibly with a more fashionable cut and color (may I suggest highlights?) and remove your eyeglasses for your next photo. I realize you're dying, but you can't afford to not go out in style.

Tell me about your son; you say you want me to manage the funds until he is of age. Is he spoiled? Bratty? Angelic? Am I to be his caretaker as well? If so, I would like to formally adopt him. If you're not opposed to child labor I think we can reach a suitable agreement. Please have him write me a letter to introduce himself, and be sure to include a photograph with a dashing 'do. I want to know his hobbies, level of schooling, and tolerance for gruel.

Please send me instructions on how to proceed.

Ms. Kitty