The Plot Thickens

Dear Friends,

In the convoluted Spam adventure that is this blog, a twisted irony emerges.

I was highly amused to see recently on Google Analytics that I've been getting some visitors from Kenya and Nigeria; surely some of these are normal, law-abiding people. But my first gleeful thought was, "They've found me!" The idea of what their opinion must be of my counter attacks has only added fuel to the fire in the ongoing Spam War.

To make things even more enjoyable, one of them just asked to subscribe to my updates. Thinking the name sounded unusual yet familiar, I did some research and found that it is a name I have run across before as an alias for a supposed "contact" in an exchange with a spammer, Mr. Mueller and the Extradited Sister.

Hello, Mr. Mike Itsede! This feels like Spy vs. Spy, and I do appreciate the wit of you watching me watching you. Nice try, but I still see you.

-- Kitty

The Color Yellow

[9.23.09] From: "DHL COURIER DELIVERY COMPANY" (lbkb8338@yahoo.com)
Subject: DHL COURIER SERVICE COMPANY BENIN DU REPUBLIC

DHL COURIER SERVICE COMPANY BENIN DU REPUBLIC
Avenue Mgr Isidore de Souza 41 Blvd Du Mongo Cotonou Benin.

E-mail: deliverycompny7@mail.ru

Attn: Dear,

We received your email with the complete of your personal information and your home address in regards of your package that was deposited in our office by your local partner Mr. Ben Okoye. here with this Registration Number;.dhl /122p/mtm/2009 Zip Code:0113388.

The amount involved for the delivery of your package is US$98.00 and the money is to be send down here through western union or money gram with our cashier name below.

And within 48hours of receiving the fee your package will be at your doorstep by our Diplomatic agent for sure becuase the delivery will be over night expresss.

Receivers Name............ELIAS IGBANU
Country....................... BENIN REPUBLIC
City.......................... ...COTONOU
Text Question................BEST COLOUR
Answer........................ YELLOW

And as soon as you send the US$98.00 then send us the Western union Details/ MTCN Number / Sender's Name. Because as soon as the fee is received we will despatch your package and we shall provide you the tracking details for you to monitor the movement of your package while on the transit to know that its coming to you.

The US$98.00 requested is for our security keeping fee and All necessary documents has been tendered by depositor.

Below is picture of your registered box.



Type: Diplomatic Package.
Size: L: W: H / 04:10:13 CM.
Weight: .29kg.
Colour: Brown.

Yours Sincerely,
Mr. Samuel Dalor.
DHL International Express Courier
Company Director Benin Republic
WestAfrica, Tel: +229-98 33 73 27


CAUTION: THIS INFORMATION MAY BE CONFIDENTIAL OR PRIVILEGED INFORMATION. IF YOU ARE NOT ADDRESSED OR AUTHORISED TO RECEIVE THIS MESSAGE, YOU MUST NOT USE, COPY, DISCLOSE OR TAKE ANY ACTION BASED ON THIS MESSAGE OR ANY INFORMATION HEREIN. IF YOU RECEIVE THIS MESSAGE IN ERROR PLEASE ADVICE THE SENDER ON THE ABOVE.

*****

[10.1.09]Dear Mr. Dalor,

I am eager to receive my package.

But why does yellow have to be the best color? When I think of yellow, I think of bananas, canaries, cheese, yellow submarines and the yellow pages--and any number of other unpleasant, yellow things (schoolbuses! squash! taxi cabs!). Can we please select another color?

Ms. Kitty

[9.18.09] From: "INTERNATIONAL POLICE AUTHORITY" (intpolaut@sbcglobal.net)
Subject: INTERNATIONAL POLICE AUTHORITY UNITED STATES SECTION (IPA)Friday, September 18, 2009 7:59 AM

INTERNATIONAL POLICE AUTHORITY UNITED STATES SECTION (IPA)
Region No. 2 New York City
P.O. Box 804 Knickerbocker Station
New York City, New York 10002-0804 USA

We, office of the international police authority (IPA) hereby write to inform you that we caught a diplomatic lady called Mrs. Vernon Wallace at (John F Kennedy International Airport) here in New York with a consignment box filed with United State Dollars.

Meanwhile, base on our interview to the diplomat she said that the consignment box belongs to you, that she was sent by one Williams I. Luis to deliver the consignment box to your doorstep not knowing that the content of the box is money.

Now, the diplomat is under detention in the office of (IPA) security, and we cannot release her until we carry out our proper investigation on how this huge amount of money managed to be yours before we will release her with the box. So, in this regards you are to reassure and prove to us that the money you are about to receive is legal by sending us the Award Ownership Certificate showing that the money is not illegal.

Note, that the Award Ownership Certificate must to be secured from the office of the senate president in Nigeria, because that is the only office that will issue you the original Award Ownership Certificate of this funds, this is because the fund originated from Nigeria

You are advised to forward immediately the Award Ownership Certificate if you have it with you, but if you did not have it we will urge you to contact back the sender of the diplomat to help you secure the Award Ownership Certificate if at all you did not have it.

Below is the contact information of the person that sent the diplomat;

Name: Williams I. Luis

Email: wiluis@o2.pl or williamsluis@buzonabc.com

Phone: +2348039572444

Furthermore, we are giving you only but 3 working business days to forward the requested Award Ownership Certificate. Please note that we shall get back to you after the 3 working business days, that if you didn’t come up with the certificate we shall confiscate the funds into World Bank account then charge you for money laundering, but if you forward the Award Ownership Certificate then we will release diplomat with your consignment box also gives you every back up on the money.

Thanks for your understanding and co-operation

Yours Truly,
I.P.A REGION NO:2
DCP. DOUGLAS H. KING

*****

[10.1.09]

Mr. King,

Ah, you caught Mrs. Wallace! Good catch! That woman is nothing but a headache for me. I apologize for taking so long to write you back. I hope that the nearly two weeks you have held Mrs. Wallace have been comfortable for her--has she been fed and watered? She also needs thrice-daily walks and snacks as reward for good behavior (peanut butter bacon balls work well).

You see, I know Mrs. Wallace. Mr. Luis did indeed trust Mrs. Wallace to deliver the money to me, but as usual, Mrs. Wallace has made a royal mess of things. She was supposed to meet me in Dallas but if you found her at JFK I'm afraid she made another frivolous trip to Atlantic City.

How do I go about collecting this Award Ownership Certificate?

Thanks,
Ms. Kitty

*****

Then I got these three e-mails...

[10.1.09] From: "wiluis" (wiluis@o2.pl)
Subject: Re: INTERNATIONAL POLICE AUTHORITY UNITED STATES SECTION (IPA)

I just received your email, I am surprise to hear that you are yet to receive your package; this is because it has been about days now that Mrs.Vernon Wallace departed with it. I am also surprised you said you do not have the award ownership certificate because you ought to have it. Mrs. Wallace has all these other documents with her except the Award ownership certificate. I think you should know how I got involved in this.

I am a Portuguese citizen and area manager administration of EDUARDO PIRES CONSULTANT PARTNERSHIPS AND BROKERS Liabon Portugal.The Nigerian government consulted my company on how best to pay beneficiaries whom have not yet received their fund. After due investigations and observations by the management of EDUARDO PIRES CONSULTANT PARTNERSHIPS AND BROKERS Liabon Portugal, we found out that most beneficiaries always have problems receiving their cash through wire transfer due to one hidden fee or the other, ATM cards that are issued in Nigeria cannot work in America or any other part of the world and most checks are intercepted before they reach their destination. We then advised them to pay through diplomatic means.They the Nigerian government in conjunction with the Central Bank of Nigeria then came back to us in portugal and contracted our company to come down to Nigeria to handle this in other to ensure transparency. I came into Nigeria some days ago and resumed 13 days ago, I sent Mrs. Wallace to you because your name was among those that are yet to receive your fund and have completed all process of receiving it diplomatically.

Your name and that of others are among the name that were to be paid,believing that you are aware and expecting the money, I dispatched Mrs.Wallace to come deliver yours. Other beneficiaries has received their own easy as most of them have the Award Ownership Certificate If you don’t have this certificate, then it will have to be issued by the office of the Nigerian senate president since it is not my office that do issue it. I will advise you come down to Nigeria immediately to inquire and obtain the certificate, but in a situation that you cannot come, then you have to give me the permission to go there on your behalf and inquire from them what it takes to get certificate. I want you to call me for further discussion. PHONE: +2348088034788 & +2348039572444 or you reconfirm your phone number and I will call you.

Regards
Williams Luis

*****

[10.1.09] From: "INTERNATIONAL POLICE" (int.police.asso16@googlemail.com)
Subject: Re: INTERNATIONAL POLICE AUTHORITY UNITED STATES SECTION (IPA)

In reply to your email, We do not know if you know any of these people. Our business with you is that we stoped the a diplomatic lady with a consignment containing cash of US$5,550,980:00(Five Million, Five Hundred and Fifty Thousand, Nine Hundred and eighty United States Dollars). Find the pictures attached with this email, after interrogations and investigations, the documents with her proved that she is a diplomat and the consignment was being brought to you and to your house. All we need from you is to provide the award ownership certificate, so that Mrs. Wallace will be released and she will proceed to meet you.
Failure to provide the required certificate before the stipulated time, your warrant of arrest will be issued and you will be charged for money laundering according to the United States Patriot Act bill on money laundering related activities, signed into law (P.L.107-56) by President Bush on October 26, 2001.
Mrs. Vernon Wallace said that Dr. Williams Igwe Luis is in Charge of the office that she departed from, she is the one that provided his email conatct (wiluis@o2.pl or williamsluis@buzonabc.com) and Phone (+2348039572444) or (+2348088034788) that is why you advised that you contact him.

Thanks for your antcipated co-operation.

Yours Truly,
I.P.A REGION NO: 2
DCP. DOUGLAS H. KING



*****

[10.2.09] From: "International Police Authority INTERPOL" (international.police.asso@gmail.com)
Subject: Attention: from the International Police Authority United States Section (Very Urgent)

We, office of the international police authority (IPA) hereby write to inform you that we are still waiting for you to provide the Award ownership Certificate. We don't know if you know any of these people but the documents that is with Mrs. Vernon Wallace states that the consignment is being brought to your address and your name written as the beneficary. We will advise you sort out with them and get this certificate so that Mrs. Vernon Wallace will proceed to your address with your consignment.

We cannot continue to keep Mrs. Wallace without taking both of you to court for money laundering offence, we are giving you until Tuesday the 6TH of October 2009 to provide the award ownership certificate. Failure to do this, we will contact your local police to effect your arrest and you will be charged for money laundering offence according to the United States of America's Patriot Act bill on money laundering related activities, signed into law (P.L.107-56) by President Bush on October 26, 2001. and United Nations charter on money laundering related activities.

I am only pathetic with the situation Mrs. Vernon has found herself at the moment and she has given us all the information needed to convict you if prosecuted but I want you to first understand the gravity of the offence so that you will appreciate my effort to get you out of this imminient danger which you cannot escape unless you provide this Award Ownership Certificate. Note that Ignorance is no excuse in law, It may interest you to read through the American Patriot Act document to be aware of the charges that could possibly be leveled against you, which attracts multiple sentences.


Thanks for your anticipated co-operation.

Yours Truly,
I.P.A REGION NO:2 THANKS.
DCP DOUGLAS H. KING


Cc: Federal Bureau of Investigation (F.B.I)
Cc: Central Intelligence Agency (CIA)

*****

[10.15.09] Mr. King,

Well! I certainly don't want to be thrown into a Nigerian dungeon upon the word of the insidious Mrs. Wallace. My friend, I have to tell you some important things. First, Mrs. Wallace is not who she says she is, and the incriminating evidence she has against me is false. I have known her for a dozen years. She is a skilled thief, and due to a personal vendetta against me, she is using you to get to my money. I made millions in investments in real estate and stocks.

If you want to let her go, and go on with your life, I will understand. But if you will help me, we can both benefit. If you will help me I will be rid of her, and I am willing to pay you handsomely for this. We can negotiate price, but I am giving you the starting bid of $75,000. Let me know what you decide. This is a serious offer, and I expect your respect; I hope you will help me.

Ms. Kitty

*****

Waziri Strikes Again

Like a bad dream, Mrs. Hajia Farida Waziri has found me again.


[9.17.09] From: Mrs.Hajia Farida Waziri (mrs.hajia1@yahoo.com.hk)
Subject:Attention; Beneficiary,

Attention; Beneficiary,

I am Hajia Farida Waziri Chairman Efcc Investigation Office Nigeria, there
is presently a counter claims on your funds by one MR.David walker, who is
presently trying to make us believe that you are dead and even explained
that you entered into an agreement with him, to help you in receiving your
fund, So here comes the big question.

Did you sign any Deed of Assignment in favor of (David walker). thereby
making him the current beneficiary with his following account details: MR
David walker, AC/NUMBER: 6503809428. ROUTING/122006743, B/NAME:CITI
BANK,ADDRESS:NEW YORK,USA, we shall proceed to issue all payments details
to the said Mr. David walker, if we do not hear from you within the next
two working days from today

Thanks

Mrs.Hajia Farida Waziri
Chairman Efcc Investigation Office Nigeria

*****

[10.1.09]Mrs. Waziri,

So we meet again! As before, I am flabbergasted at the efforts of Mr. Walker to get his hands on my money. When you first contacted me I had just returned from his funeral. How disturbed I was to receive this letter for you and to find that the wicked Walker is still greedy in his afterlife.

We must report him to the police immediately.

Ms. Kitty